Open/Close Menu Divorce Done Differently.

Facing a divorce is one of the most daunting events people can go through.  There are many questions, concerns, and fears associated with divorce, and when people are fearful, they often get into a defensive mindset.  But what is the best mindset for a successful divorce? This blog series will discuss the mindset that we at Youngblood law, PLLC recommend for our clients.  Because we reject the traditional notions of adversarial divorce where both spouses should hate each other, some of our recommendations might be surprising.

Philosophical Introduction

Time travels in one direction.  While we can sometimes repair damage, or try an action again, we cannot go back in time to redo the action for the first time.  For example, we can scramble an egg, but we cannot unscramble it.  We all understand how time works.

Or do we?  When it comes to divorce, many people tend to stick in the past emotionally.  What’s worse, is they frequently make decisions as if they will be living their post-divorce life the same way they lived their married life and under the same circumstances.

Have you heard of the Peter principle?  This principle illuminates the logical flaw that results from promoting an employee to a new position based on the employee’s performance in the current position.  The problem is obvious: the skills needed for the new job might be radically different from the current position.  For example, promoting the best nurse in the office to office administrator could easily damage the whole office because administrating the office requires fundamentally different skills than being a nurse requires!  Duh! Now the office falls into disarray, and the best nurse isn’t helping patients.  This is a recipe for disaster.  A better method is to hire for the position based on the required skills.

In the same way, when facing a divorce, the temptation is to make decisions based on the marriage.  It’s basically the Peter principle—making decisions for the future based on the past. A better method of decision making is to consider what you’ll need in the future financially, emotionally, mentally, and in regard to relationships with children and the other spouse.  Make divorce decisions based on what kind of life you’ll want to live when the divorce is over, rather than what you think your spouse deserves.

Simply put, if you are facing a divorce, and you know that when the divorce is over you want a certain life style, then the divorce should be part of the process needed to get you what you want.  The divorce should help you get your fair share of the marital assets and should give you the access and possession you want with the children.  All the legal decisions about strategy and tactics should be focused on getting you the kind of life you want, not focused on punishing your spouse at the expense of your future assets and relationships.  We recommend a forward-looking mindset because that’s how we set our clients up for the future they want to live!

Bonus: Get our FREE whitepaper on 10 Things You Need To Plan Before You File For Divorce by clicking HERE.

Youngblood Law, PLLC is a Fort Worth, Texas family law firm focusing on helping people get through the divorce process so they can get on with the rest of their lives. This essay is intended for educational use only, and is not a replacement for competent legal counsel. If you are facing a family law matter, we recommend obtaining competent legal counsel like Youngblood Law, PLLC. For more information contact us at 817-601-5345, find us on the web at, or on your mobile device, open your browser and type in and press Go. Find us on Facebook at

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